Pirates of the Sengoku Jidai
by Sol-leks1
Summary: Chapter Five up! Pirates invade Port Imperial...pirates who don't die.
1. Aboard the HMS Midoriko

Pirates of the Sengoku Jidai  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or Pirates of the Caribbean. I think I am the first to put them together, however.  
  
Chapter One:  
  
((FADE IN on the sea. An impenetrable wall of gray fog covers the horizon as far as the eye can see. All is silent, until, ever so faintly, the voice of a young girl is heard, singing slowly under her breath.))  
  
Kagome: Yo, ho, yo, ho/A pirate's life for me./Yo, ho, yo, ho/It's a pirate's life for me.  
  
((As the girl's singing grows slowly louder, a massive ship slices through the fog-the HMS Midoriko. An awe-inspiring ship-of-the-line, the Midoriko is equipped with twenty-five gun ports on each side, and rail guns to boot. KAGOME HIGURASHI stands at the bow, singing. She is a raven-haired young woman of roughly twelve.))  
  
Kagome: Drink up me hearties, yo, ho, yo, ho.  
  
((She is suddenly cut off as a hand claps down on her shoulder. She is spun around to stare into the face of HITEN, the most superstitious crewman ever to sail upon the seven seas. Some of the oarsmen have whispered that he is a demon, or a pirate, or both. He growls at Kagome.))  
  
Hiten: You be quiet, missy. Accursed pirates sail these waters. You wouldn't want to bring them down on our heads, would you?  
  
Kouga: Mr. Hiten!  
  
((Startled, Hiten turns to face LIEUTENANT KOUGA. The officer was known to be cunning, ambitious, and rising quickly through the ranks. Standing next to him is GOVERNOR HIGURASHI, Kagome's grandfather. His hair is beginning to gray, as compared to Kouga's jet black locks. Both glare sternly at Hiten.))  
  
Kouga: That will do, Mr. Hiten.  
  
((Hiten drops his head slightly and mutters an explanation.))  
  
Hiten: She was singing about pirates, sir. Bad luck to sing about pirates. Doubly so in this unnatural fog, mark my words.  
  
Kouga: Consider them marked.  
  
((Each word is spoken with a caustic sarcasm that drives daggers into Hiten's pride. The black-haired crewman nods and strides off, trying to salvage his dignity.))  
  
Hiten: It's also bad luck to have a woman on board-even a miniature one.  
  
((Surreptitiously, he takes a swig from a flask hanging at his side.))  
  
Kagome: Actually, I think it would be quite exciting to meet a pirate.  
  
Kouga: Think again, Miss Higurashi. Vile, violent, and dissolute creatures the lot of them; Youkai pirates most of all. I intend to see that any man or demon who flies under pirate flag or wears a pirate brand get exactly what they deserve: A short drop and a sudden stop.  
  
((Kagome does not understand. She glances over at Hiten, who mimes a hanging. The young girl gasps slightly. Governor Higurashi taps Kouga on the shoulder.))  
  
Governor Higurashi: Lieutenant Kouga, I appreciate your fervor, but I am concerned about the effect this subject will have on my granddaughter.  
  
Kouga: My apologies, Governor.  
  
Kagome: Actually, I find it all fascinating.  
  
Governor Higurashi: That's exactly what I'm concerned about.  
  
Kagome: Yes, Grandpa.  
  
((She turns and walks beside the railing gazing out into the empty sea. Suddenly, a ripple of movement catches her eye, and she watches as a white parasol floats, upside-down, past the ship.))  
  
Kagome: What in seven hells.  
  
((She tilts her head, eyes retracing the umbrella's path. Her eyes widen as she sees.))  
  
Kagome: A boy! There's a boy in the water!  
  
((Indeed, a boy is in the water, sprawled, unconscious, across a board that is floating after the parasol. Kouga snaps to attention on hearing Kagome's shout.))  
  
Kouga: Man overboard! Fetch a hook! Haul him out of there!  
  
((In a flash of movement, the sailors have a rope over the side of the ship. The strongest of them slides down and hauls the boy on deck. Kouga kneels beside him and checks his pulse. He places a hand over the boy's chest and feels it rise and fall. He sighs in relief.))  
  
Kouga: He's still breathing.  
  
Governor Higurashi: Where did he come from?  
  
Hiten: Kami-sama!  
  
Governor Higurashi: I think it is exceedingly unlikely that the boy fell out of Nirvana, Mr. Hiten.  
  
Hiten: I wasn't talking about the boy. I was talking about the burning wreck over there!  
  
((He points, leading the crew's attention away from the unconscious boy. The sea is no longer empty. The fog has lifted slightly, revealing a burning wreck. Debris fills the water, along with bloody corpses.))  
  
Governor Higurashi: What happened here?  
  
Kouga: Most likely the powder magazine. Merchant vessels run heavily armed.  
  
Hiten: And a lot of good it did them.  
  
((Kouga looks sharply at him.))  
  
Kouga: Look, everyone's thinking it. I'm just the one to say it, that's all. Pirates!  
  
Governor Higurashi: There's hardly any proof of that. It could have been an accident like Lt. Kouga said.  
  
Hiten: Sure it was. Suuurre it was.  
  
Kouga: You will keep a civil tongue in your head when speaking to your betters, Mr. Hiten.  
  
((He turns to the rest of the crew.))  
  
Kouga: Rouse the captain immediately. If there's even the slightest chance one of these poor devils is still alive, we must try to help them.  
  
((Within seconds, the crew are climbing into longboats and rowing towards the wreck. A pair of sailors lift the still-unconscious boy and move him into a cabin. Governor Higurashi places a hand on his granddaughter's shoulder.))  
  
Governor Higurashi: Kagome, I want you to accompany the boy. He's in your charge.  
  
((Kagome nods))  
  
INT. CABIN  
  
((She approaches the boy, who is lying on the bed. She gets her first good look at him. He is dressed in soggy red clothes and a long mane of white hair tumbles back over his shoulders. A pair of dog ears are perched on the top of his head. Thus an inu-youkai. Or perhaps a hanyou. Kagome idly trails a finger over one of the ears. Suddenly, his eyes snap open, and he grips her wrist tightly with his hand. Kagome places a finger to her lips.)  
  
Kagome: Shh, it's okay. I'm Kagome Higurashi.  
  
((The boy blinks his amber eyes and relaxes his grip))  
  
Inuyasha: I-inuyasha. Inuyasha Ikkitousen.  
  
Kagome: I'm watching over you, Inuyasha.  
  
((INUYASHA nods and slips back into unconsciousness, relinquishing his grip on her wrist entirely. The movement causes the collar of his shirt to fall open, giving Kagome a view of his manly chest.er, I mean, the chain he was wearing around his neck. She pulls it off and examines it. Attached to the chain is a golden medallion, a grinning skull grinning up at her. Vaguely Aztec in design, it means one thing and one thing only to her eyes.))  
  
Kagome: You're a pirate!  
  
((She hears footsteps coming towards the cabin. Quickly, she stuffs the medallion into her pocket. The door opens and Lt. Kouga enters.))  
  
Kouga: Has he said anything?  
  
Kagome: He's only woken up long enough to tell me his name: Inuyasha Ikkitousen.  
  
Kouga: Very good.  
  
((He nods brusquely, turns, and exits the cabin.))  
  
HMS MIDORIKO-STERN  
  
((Kagome stands at the stern of the ship. She glances around inconspicuously to make sure no one is watching. Satisfied that their attention is elsewhere, Kagome pulls out the medallion and examines it more closely. At that moment the wind picks up. She glances up and suppresses a gasp. Slicing through the fog is a ship, a schooner, with tattered black sails. It is mostly obscured by the fog, but the mizzen-top is clearly visible, and flying atop it is the skull-and-crossbones of the Jolly Roger. Kagome is all but frozen with fear. She numbly lifts the medallion and her eyes widen. The skull on the gold is the twin of that depicted upon the pirate flag. Kagome clutches tightly at the medallion as the skull flag seems to turn and grin at her. Kagome closes her eyes, and prays for it to be a bad dream.)) 


	2. Eight years Later

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or Pirates of the Caribbean. I think I am the first to put them together, however.  
  
Chapter Two  
  
INT. GOVERNOR'S MANSION-KAGOME'S BEDROOM-DAY  
  
((.And her eyes snap back open. She is safe in her bedroom, though drenched with sweat. Was the preceding sequence a memory or a nightmare? If it was real, time has passed since the event. Kagome is no longer the precocious 12-year old we just saw. She is now at least twenty, and she has filled out nicely. Her raven hair falls down past her shoulder blades, and her figure is straight out of the dreams of young male hentais. She sits up and lights a lamp by the bedside, illuminating the room with a soft glow. After a moment of silence, she stands and walks over to her dressing table. She pulls out a drawer, reaches into the space beneath it and removes.the medallion. It wasn't a dream. It has lost none of its luster.or its sense of menace. Absently, she fits it around her neck and begins to admire herself in the mirror. Her reverie is brought to a sudden and dramatic end as a booming knock sounds at the door of the room, causing her to jump out of her skin and back into it again.))  
  
Governor Higurashi: (V.O) Kagome? Is everything all right in there? Are you decent?  
  
((Quickly, Kagome tucks the medallion into her cleavage and throws on a dressing gown.))  
  
Kagome: Yes, grandfather!  
  
((The door opens and Governor Higurashi enters, carrying a package under each arm. He is followed by the MAID.))  
  
Governor Higurashi: What, still abed at this hour? It's a beautiful day!  
  
((The maid pulls back the curtains, revealing the town of Port Imperial, a quaint, bucolic harbor town. On a bluff at the mouth of the harbor sits Fort Goshinboku, its impressive stone parapets lined with cannons. This has been the Higurashi's home for the past eight years.))  
  
Governor Higurashi: I have a gift to you!  
  
((He hands her a package, which she gleefully tears into. Her face falls as she sees the contents-a hand both disembodied and mummified.))  
  
Governor Higurashi: Oh, sorry. That's the kappa hand I bought to feed the cats. This is the real gift.  
  
((He hands Kagome the second package, which contains a gorgeous velvet dress. Kagome applauds.))  
  
Kagome: It's beautiful! May I inquire as to the occasion?  
  
Governor Higurashi: Does an old man need an occasion to dote upon his granddaughter?  
  
((Kagome and the maid disappear into a screened off dressing area to put on the dress.))  
  
Governor Higurashi: However.I had hoped you would wear it to the ceremony today.  
  
Kagome: Ceremony? What ceremony?  
  
Governor Higurashi: Captain Kouga's promotion ceremony of course.  
  
((Kagome sighs, exasperated.))  
  
Kagome: I knew it.  
  
Governor Higurashi: Commodore Kouga as he's about to become. A fine man. He fancies you, you know.  
  
Kagome: Ugh. Grandpa, he's twice my age, at the least.  
  
Governor Higurashi: Well, that never stopped your grandmother.  
  
((Kagome does not respond. If she did, she would likely say 'Ack! TMI! Too much information!'))  
  
Governor Higurashi: Kagome, how's it coming?  
  
((The camera angle switches to Kagome. The maid is cinching up her corset, and she is clearly short of breath.))  
  
Kagome: Difficult.difficult to say.  
  
Governor Higurashi: I'm told it's the latest fashion in Edo.  
  
Kagome: Well, the girls in Edo must have learned not to breathe.  
  
((When the maid is finished with the corset, Kagome takes a breath and winces. A BUTLER appears at the doorway.))  
  
Butler: Governor, you have a visitor.  
  
INT. GOVERNOR'S MANSION-FOYER-DAY  
  
((The as-yet anonymous caller stands in the foyer. He is dressed in rough work clothes and carries a large, blue case under one arm.. He shifts nervously from foot to foot, knowing how out of place he looks among the finery of the mansion. He polishes the toes of his boots on the back of his calves. There is no improvement. He subjects a nearby candleholder to tactile examination, and is startled when a candle breaks off. He glances from left to right then drops it inconspicuously into the umbrella stand. At that moment, the governor appears on the stairs.))  
  
Governor Higurashi: Ah, Mr. Ikkitousen! How good to see you again!  
  
((The caller turns. It is Inuyasha, and he, too, has grown up. A bit of stubble covers his chin, and his general appearance assures a fangirl base. He smiles slightly when he sees the governor.))  
  
Inuyasha: Good day, sir. I have your order.  
  
((He holds out the case. The governor hurries down the remaining stairs, and opens in the case. Inside is a beautiful dress sword and scabbard. Governor Higurashi holds it reverently.)  
  
Inuyasha: The blade is folded steel-razor sharp. That's gold filigree laid into the handle. If I may-?  
  
((He takes the sword from the governor and balances it on his index finger, where the blade meets the guard.))  
  
Inuyasha: It's perfectly balanced. The tang is nearly the full width of the blade.  
  
Governor Higurashi: Impressive. Very impressive. Commodore Kouga will be most pleased. Pass my compliments on to your master.  
  
((Inuyasha's face falls imperceptibly. The work is his, and he's proud of it. However, something holds him back from mentioning this fact to the governor. He speaks with perfect propriety, and a hidden, undetectable edge of bitterness.))  
  
Inuyasha: I will sir. A craftsman is always pleased to hear his work is appreciated.  
  
((With practiced ease, he flips the sword around, catches it by the hilt and places it into the case. He turns to leave, but something catches his eye, and he is fixed in place. That 'something' is Kagome, who is descending the staircase, decked out in the velvet dress. Granted, the dress is exceedingly painful to wear, but holy smokes!))  
  
Governor Higurashi: Ah, Kagome! You look absolutely stunning!  
  
((Inuyasha's voice catches in his throat. All he can do is smile and nod emphatically.))  
  
Kagome: Inuyasha! It's so good to see you! I had a dream about you last night.  
  
((Inuyasha's eyes widen, and he assumes an expression best described as 'deer-in-headlights.'))  
  
Governor Higurashi: Kagome, are you sure that's quite appropriate?  
  
((Kagome ignores her grandfather. She has reached the bottom of the stairs now.))  
  
Kagome: About the day we met. Do you remember?  
  
Inuyasha: How could I forget, Miss Higurashi?  
  
Kagome: Inuyasha, how often do I have to tell you to call me Kagome?  
  
Inuyasha: At least once more, Miss Higurashi. As always.  
  
((Kagome looks crestfallen, but the governor doesn't notice. He smiles broadly.))  
  
Governor Higurashi: Well said, young lad! It's nice to see a boy with a sense of propriety in this day and age. Now then, we must be going.  
  
((He takes the case and leads Kagome out the door.))  
  
EXT. GOVERNOR'S MANSION-DAY  
  
((Inuyasha helps Governor Higurashi and Kagome into a carriage.))  
  
Inuyasha: Good day.  
  
((After the carriage has rolled out of earshot, he adds under his breath-)  
  
Inuyasha: Kagome.  
  
(A/N: Okey-dokey people. Next chapter is the enterance of Captain Jack Sparrow, so hang on while that's written. And no, for the sake of suspense, I won't tell you who Jack is. For now, read, enjoy, and review!) 


	3. Enter the Pirate

Disclaimer: I do not own either Inuyasha or Pirates of the Caribbean. I think I am the first to put them together, however.  
  
Chapter Three  
  
EXT. PORT IMPERIAL-HARBOR-DAY  
  
((The skeletal remains of four pirates, still clad in buccaneer rags, hang from impromptu gallows erected on a rocky promontory. From a fifth gallows hangs a sign bearing the inscription PIRATES, YE BE WARNED. The top of a billowing sail passes regally past the grisly sight. On the landward side, apparently high in the rigging, stands CAPTAIN MIROKU SUZUME, his wild black hair billowing in the wind. A purple cloth is wrapped around his right hand, and he has a devilish twinkle in his eye. The term 'swashbuckling rogue' was invented specifically for him. As he passes the gallows, he momentarily assumes a reverent stance. But something on deck catches his eye, so he leaps from the rigging. The camera pans out, and we see that his ship is no imposing three-master, but rather a fishing boat. A single-sailed fishing boat. A leaky, single-sailed fishing boat. He grabs a pail and desperately starts to bail water. Gripping the tiller, he steers the boat towards the Port Imperial docks.))  
  
EXT. PORT IMPERIAL-DOCKS-DAY  
  
((Captain Miroku is perched atop the rigging as his leaky vessel comes into the docks. When it touches the pier, the rigging is exactly even with it. Miroku steps off and watches as it sinks beneath the waves. The HARBORMASTER spots him and strides over.))  
  
Harbormaster: You there! It's four yen to dock your boat!  
  
((Miroku glances at the little bit of mast still sticking out of the water.))  
  
Miroku: What boat?  
  
Harbormaster: Rules are rules. And I'll need to know your name.  
  
Miroku: Tell you what; I'll make it ten yen, and you forget about the name.  
  
((He slips the money into the harbormaster's hand. The official brightens considerably.))  
  
Harbormaster: Welcome to Port Imperial, John Doe.  
  
((Miroku gives him a half-salute with one hand and picks his pocket with the other. As the harbormaster walks away, unsuspecting, Miroku turns his attentions farther down the dock, to the Imperial Navy landings. Two ships in particular catch his eye; one the HMS Midoriko, the other the HMS Kirara. The Kirara is a small, sleek vessel with rail guns and a mortar. He swaggers towards the landing with a cocky grin.))  
  
EXT. FORT GOSHINBOKU-DAY  
  
((With choreographed precision, Governor Higurashi removes the ceremonial sword from the presentation case, held by a Navy officer. He holds it out to soon-to-be-Commodore Kouga, who draws it from the scabbard. He flourishes it expertly, as though fighting an invisible foe, then snaps the blade up in front of his face. The governor steps forward and pins a medal to now-Commodore Kouga's jacket. The commodore nods to Governor Higurashi, to the assembled officers, and finally to the audience. Another flourish and the blade is returned to its scabbard. There is a brief silence. And then, the audience are on their feet, applauding for all they're worth. Kagome, however, is uncomfortable. She claps, winces, and discreetly tries to readjust her corset. She resumes clapping trying to hide her discomfort.))  
  
EXT. PORT IMPERIAL-NAVY DOCK-DAY  
  
((Two sailors are on sentry duty. They are a pair of wolf Youkai named GINTA and HAKKAKU. They wear heavy skin uniforms, and look so much alike that they are probably brothers. The heat has prompted them to take advantage of the shade offered by the dock. When Miroku saunters up, they clumsily grab their guns and hats and rush to cut him off.))  
  
Ginta: This dock is off-limits to civilians!  
  
Miroku: Very interesting. If I see any, I'll be sure to let you know.  
  
((He tries to move around them and head for the Kirara, but the two block his passage. A strain of music drifts down from Fort Goshinboku. Miroku looks up, then back at Ginta and Hakkaku.))  
  
Miroku: Some sort of fancy to-do up at the fort, eh?  
  
((Hakkaku nods stupidly.))  
  
Miroku: Tell me, how is it that two such fine, upstanding Imperial officers such as yourselves did not receive an invitation?  
  
Ginta: Well, someone has to make sure this dock stays off limits to civilians.  
  
Miroku: I see.that must be some important boat.  
  
Hakkaku: Ship.  
  
Miroku: Ship. Sorry.  
  
Ginta: Captain Kouga's made his flagship. He's going to use it to hunt down the last dregs of piracy in the seven seas.  
  
Hakkaku: Commodore Kouga.  
  
Ginta: Commodore. Sorry.  
  
Miroku: That's a fine goal, I'm sure. But in my personal opinion as a seaman, that ship over there-  
  
((He indicates the Midoriko))  
  
Miroku: -makes that one a bit superfluous.  
  
Ginta and Hakkaku: What?  
  
Miroku: The big ship-of-the-line makes the Commodore's flagship look like a toy boat.  
  
Ginta: Well, the Midoriko is the power in these waters, true. But there's no ship that can match the Kirara for speed.  
  
((Miroku arches an interested eyebrow.))  
  
Miroku: Is that so? I've heard of one. Supposed to be uncatchable. The Shikon no Tama?  
  
((Ginta laughs derisively.))  
  
Ginta: There's no real ship as can match the Kirara.  
  
Hakkaku: But the Shikon no Tama is a real ship.  
  
Ginta: No, it isn't.  
  
Hakkaku: Yes, it is. I've seen it.  
  
Ginta: Riiight. You mean to tell me that you've seen a ship with black sails, crewed by the damned, and captained by a Youkai so evil that each of the Seven Hells spat him back out in succession?  
  
((There is a pause before Hakkaku's response.))  
  
Hakkaku: Um.no.  
  
Ginta: No.  
  
Hakkaku: But I have seen a ship with black sails.  
  
Ginta: Oh. And no ship that's not crewed by the damned, and not captained by a Youkai so evil that each of the seven hells spat him back out in succession could possibly have black sails, and thus couldn't possibly be any ship besides the Shikon no Tama. Is that what you're saying?  
  
Hakkaku: Um.no.  
  
((Ginta turns back to Miroku with a self-satisfied air.))  
  
Ginta: Like I said, there's no real ship as can match-hey!  
  
((While Ginta and Hakkaku were arguing, Miroku had slipped by them and boarded the Kirara.))  
  
Ginta: You!  
  
((Miroku looks up in 'innocent' surprise. Ginta and Hakkaku rush down the gangplank, guns trained on Miroku.))  
  
Ginta: What's your name?  
  
Miroku: Doe. John Doe.  
  
((Ian Fleming sues.))  
  
Ginta: What is your business in Port Imperial, 'Mr. Doe?'  
  
Hakkaku: And no lies!  
  
Miroku: None? Very well. I intend to commandeer this vessel, pick up a crew in Tortuga, and loot, pillage, and plunder my black little heart out.  
  
Hakkaku: I said no lies!  
  
Ginta: I think he's telling the truth.  
  
Hakkaku: If he was telling the truth, he wouldn't have told us!  
  
Miroku: Unless, of course, he knew you wouldn't believe the truth if he told it to you.  
  
((The two digest this information until they are thoroughly confused.))  
  
EXT. FORT GOSHINBOKU-DAY  
  
((Kagome fans herself weakly. She is pale, covered in perspiration, and is clearly oblivious to the music and chatter. Commodore Kouga approaches her.))  
  
Kouga: May I have a moment?  
  
((He extends his arm. Kagome links elbows with him, and he leads her away from the party, up to the parapet. There is rather too long of a silence before Kouga bursts out-))  
  
Kouga: You look lovely, Kagome.  
  
((Kagome frowns, unable to focus. Her vision is starting to blur. Kouga mistakes her expression for disapproval.))  
  
Kouga: I apologize for being so.forward, but I must speak my mind.  
  
((He takes a deep breath.))  
  
Kouga: This promotion confirms that I have accomplished the goals I set for myself in my career. But it also throws into sharp relief one goal I have not accomplished. A marriage to a fine woman. You.you have become a fine woman, Kagome.  
  
((Kagome gasps.))  
  
Kagome: I can't breathe!  
  
Kouga: Yes, I'm a bit nervous myself.  
  
((But that isn't what she means. She faints, tumbling off the parapet.))  
  
EXT. PORT IMPERIAL-NAVY DOCKS-DAY  
  
((Miroku pushes Ginta and Hakkaku aside to see Kagome plunge into the waves, narrowly missing the sharp rocks.  
  
EXT. FORT GOSHINBOKU-DAY  
  
((Kouga turns, and sees that Kagome has vanished. He looks over the edge and sees the ripples in the water.))  
  
Kouga: Kagome!  
  
((He throws off his Navy jacket in preparation to dive after her, but a lieutenant named AYAME grabs his arm.))  
  
Ayame: Don't! Think about the rocks! It's a miracle she missed them!  
  
((Kouga looks down and realizes that Ayame is right. He steps down, throws on his jacket, and runs for the docks with all speed.))  
  
EXT. PORT IMPERIAL-NAVY DOCKS-DAY  
  
((Ginta and Hakkaku seem to have entered a state of shock.))  
  
Miroku: Well, aren't you going to save her?  
  
Ginta: I can't swim.  
  
Hakkaku: I only dog paddle.  
  
((William Goldman sues.))  
  
Miroku: Pride of the Imperial Navy, you are.  
  
((He hands Ginta his sword belt, which holds a blade and a pistol.))  
  
Miroku: Do not lose these.  
  
((In a flash, he is over the side of the Kirara, diving beneath the water after Kagome.))  
  
UNDERWATER-DAY  
  
((Kagome is sinking slowly, unconscious. The medallion slips out from her bodice and turns at a snail's pace, until at last the skull is facing up. There is a silent boom, and a massive ripple hurls itself through the ocean.))  
  
EXT. PORT IMPERIAL-NAVY DOCKS-DAY  
  
Hakkaku: What was that?  
  
((And even as he asks, the wind sharply changes directions, blasting the flag flying atop the Kirara so that it wheels around and starts flying in the opposite direction.))  
  
UNDERWARTER-DAY  
  
((The medallion is twisting upwards, as though wishing to escape the drowning Kagome. And then Miroku is there. He grabs her with one arm and struggles towards the surface. But it's much more difficult than it should be. He breaks the surface just long enough to take a breath of air before he is dragged back down. He wheels his head around to look at Kagome, and realizes that the heavy dress is weighting them down. He tears it open and lets it fall into the darkness of the water.)) **A/N: Leave it to Miroku to save a girl by taking off her dress.**  
  
EXT. PORT IMPERIAL-NAVY DOCKS-DAY  
  
((Ginta and Hakkaku haul Miroku and Kagome out of the water, and attempt to resuscitate the unconscious woman. As Ginta tries to push the water from her lungs, Hakkaku places his cheek near her nose and mouth. He immediately panics.))  
  
Hakkaku: She's not breathing! NOT BREATHING!  
  
((He runs around in circles, screaming his idiotic head off. Miroku sighs and pushes Ginta out of the way.))  
  
Miroku: Move.  
  
((He grabs Ginta's knife and slices open the corset. A brief silence. And then-Kagome's eyes snap open, and she is coughing up water, choking on her first breath.))  
  
Ginta: I never would have thought of that.  
  
Miroku: Clearly you've never been to Singapore.  
  
((Just as he is about to stand, he sees the medallion around Kagome's neck. He catches it up and examines it. His eyes become the size of dinner plates when he sees the skull motif.))  
  
Miroku: Where in the Seven Hells did you get this?  
  
((Before Kagome can answer, a blade is at Miroku's throat. It is Commodore Kouga's ceremonial sword and it is looking particularly sharp as the sun glints off it.))  
  
Kouga: On your feet.  
  
((For the first time, Miroku realizes what this must look like to Kagome's current rescuers. He is standing above a half-naked woman with a knife in his hands. Nor does he look like a respectable citizen. In fact it is fairly doubtful that he has had a bath in the past three days. Governor Higurashi hurries from the crowd and drapes his jacket around Kagome.))  
  
Governor Higurashi: Kagome, are you all right?  
  
((Kagome nods weakly.))  
  
Kagome: I'm fine, Grandpa. Commodore, do you intend to kill my rescuer?  
  
((Kouga blinks, and lowers his sword. He extends his hand to Miroku.))  
  
Kouga: I believe thanks are in order.  
  
((Miroku pauses tentatively before taking the proffered palm. They shake- and then Kouga tightens his grip, pulling Miroku's arm towards him and pulling up his sleeve. A capital 'P' has been branded on his wrist. Kouga scowls.))  
  
Kouga: I see you've had a brush with the East China Trading Company-pirate.  
  
((Gasps fill the crowd. In a second, half a dozen guns are trained on Miroku, who drops the knife.))  
  
Kouga: Keep your guns trained on him, men. Lieutenant Ayame, fetch some irons.  
  
((The commodore notices something else. Just above the 'P' brand is a tattoo: a small bird, flying past a Kazaana.))  
  
Kouga: Miroku Suzume, is it?  
  
Miroku: Captain Miroku Suzume, if you please.  
  
Kouga: I don't see your ship, Captain.  
  
Hakkaku: He said he had come to commandeer one.  
  
((Ginta slaps Hakkaku upside the head.)  
  
Ginta: I told you he was telling the truth!  
  
((He hands Kouga Miroku's belt.))  
  
Ginta: These are his, sir.  
  
((Kouga pulls out the gun and examines it with critical eye. He scoffs.))  
  
Kouga: No additional shot or powder.  
  
((He removes a compass from a pouch on the belt and flips it open. Again a derisive laugh.))  
  
Kouga: It doesn't bear true.  
  
((Finally, he removes Miroku's sword from its sheath and gives it a few practice swings.))  
  
Kouga: Hmm. I half expected it to be made of wood. To take stock: You have a pistol with only one shot, a compass that doesn't point north, and no ship. You are, without a shadow of a doubt, the worst pirate I have ever heard of.  
  
Miroku: Be that as it may, you have heard of me.  
  
((Lt. Ayame approaches Miroku, shackles in hand. Kagome steps forward, impeding her progress.))  
  
Kagome: Commodore, I must protest! Pirate or not, this man saved my life.  
  
Kouga: A single good deed is not even remotely enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness.  
  
Miroku: It seems to be enough to condemn him.  
  
((Ayame pushes past Kagome and snaps the manacles around Miroku's wrist. She steps back, and Kouga nods to the navy officers, who lower their weapons.))  
  
Miroku: Finally.  
  
((Lightning quick, he has the chain of the shackles around Kagome's neck. Ginta and Hakkaku begin to raise their guns, but Kouga stops them-he does not want them to hit Kagome.))  
  
Miroku: Commodore, my effects, please.  
  
((Kouga hesitates. Miroku pulls the chain tighter.))  
  
Miroku: I don't want to hurt her, Commodore, but you're not leaving me much choice.  
  
((Kouga nods to Ginta, who holds out the sword belt.))  
  
Miroku: Kagome-it is Kagome, right?  
  
Kagome: Miss Higurashi.  
  
((The angry barb bounces right off Miroku.))  
  
Miroku: Very well. If you'd be so kind, Miss Higurashi?  
  
((She takes the belt, and Miroku quickly pulls the pistol from it. He spins her around so she is facing him, belly to belly.))  
  
Miroku: Now, if you'll be very kind?  
  
((She realizes that he wants her to put the belt on him.)) **A/N: There's a first. Normally, Miroku wants girls to take his belt off.**  
  
Kagome: You're dethpicable.  
  
((Daffy Duck sues.))  
  
Miroku: Nothing personal, love. I saved your life, you saved mine. We're square.  
  
((His belt securely around his waist, Miroku spins Kagome back around and begins to back away slowly until he bumps against the cargo gantry.))  
  
Miroku: Ladies and.what's the word I'm looking for?  
  
Hakkaku: Gentlemen?  
  
Miroku: That would be the word-if there were any here. Anyway, whatever you are, you shall always remember this as the day you nearly captured Captain Miroku Suzume.  
  
((And the chain is removed from Kagome's neck. Miroku shoves her into the crowd, distracting the officers long enough to grab a rope and remove the belaying pin. A counterweight drops, and Miroku is lifted up, up, and away to the middle of the gantry. He grabs another rope. Rifles fire and miss. Miroku starts swinging from rope to rope like a nautical Tarzan. Kouga takes careful aim, tracking Miroku's trajectory. Boom. The shot slices through a rope, sending Miroku plummeting towards the ground. As he falls, he snaps the chains of his shackles over a guy line and slides down. The line, too snaps, but Miroku lands on his feet, well out of rifle range. He is soon out of sight. Kouga snarls.))  
  
Kouga: Lt. Ayame, fetch another squad. Search the whole of Port Imperial. Suzume has a date with the gallows tomorrow morning. I'd hate for him to miss it. 


	4. The Duel

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or Pirates of the Caribbean. The joke used at the end of this chapter is the work of another fanfic author whose screen-name I can't remember. I, at several points, use references to other works such as Shrek, James Bond, and The Princess Bride. These will be followed by (Name sues.), indicating that I don't own the referenced material. If you don't like the story, I direct you to this advice from my beta reader:  
  
O.k., this is a response to another review the author got. It flamed him, saying that "this idea was unoriginal and stupid." Now, as his friend and beta-reader, that pisses me off. And since he's my friend, if you insult him, you insult me. And I REALLY don't take insults very kindly. So, here's some advice: IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE DAMN STORY, THEN DON'T F-ING READ IT, YAROU!!!! READ SOMETHING ELSE!!! WE ARE NOT FORCING YOU TO READ THIS!!! YOU ARE UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO READ THIS FIC!!! OH, ONE MORE THING: *THIS IS A FANFIC!!!!* THIS IS SOMEONE'S IDEA OF A STORY LINE!!! SO SHUT UP, TAKE YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ARSE-HOLE, AND USE THE DAMNED BRAIN I'M PRETTY SURE YOU'VE GOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! O.K?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Chapter Four  
  
(A/N: Well here it is; the chapter we've all been waiting for. The meeting of the heroes.)  
  
EXT. PORT IMPERIAL-TOWN-ALLEY-DAY  
  
((An armed search party passes by, and glances into the alley. Once they're  
  
satisfied that it is quite deserted, they continue onwards. As soon as they're out of sight, Miroku drops from his hiding place between the eaves of the building. Looking left to right, he darts across the street into the blacksmith shop.))  
  
INT. BLACKSMITH'S FORGE-DAY  
  
((There are no windows; the forge is lit entirely by lanterns. Work in progress is scattered about-wagon wheels, wrought iron gates, even a cracked cannon. Yet every tool is in place, and the workbench has been cleaned meticulously. Miroku tiptoes in and takes a hammer to break his chains. Just as he is about to make the attempt, he hears a loud noise coming from a dark corner of the shop. He wheels around and suppresses a laugh. The noise was a snore. The source was the blacksmith, MUSHIN. He is snoozing in a rocking chair, clutching a bottle of sake tightly in one hand. Miroku sniffs him, and recoils from the strong stench of alcohol. He is clearly drunk. Miroku pokes him hard, and is greeted with another snore. He starts to walk away, then spins around again, roaring at the drunken blacksmith. Nothing. Satisfied, Miroku turns his attention back to freeing himself of his chains. He places the chain against the manacle against the anvil and strikes it with the hammer. Despite several attempts, the chain does not break. Looking around, Miroku notices a large, donkey powered gear mechanism. He takes out a poker, heats it in the fire, and places it against the donkey's rear. It squeals and starts running, starting the gears turning.))  
  
Donkey: Hey, Shrek, what'cha do that for? Can't we just chill and talk 'bout onions or somethin'?  
  
((Disney/Pixar sues. Miroku places the chain between the gears and they are crushed open. Just then he hears the sound of footsteps and the door latch being lifted. Quickly, he dives for cover. The door opens, and Inuyasha enters and shuts the door behind him. He grabs at the donkey.))  
  
Inuyasha: Shh, shh. Calm down, you irritating, miniature beast of burden.  
  
((Disney/Pixar sues again. The donkey finally calms down and stops moving. Inuyasha glances over at Mushin, still in a drunken stupor. He growls bitterly.))  
  
Inuyasha: Right where I left you.  
  
((And then he sees the poker lying on the floor. From there his amber eyes are drawn to the hammer lying next to the anvil. He walks over, picks it up, and stares at it critically. This is confusing.))  
  
Inuyasha: Not where I left you.  
  
((And then there is a blade against his throat. He turns his head just enough to see Miroku holding it. Slowly, Inuyasha backs away, but Miroku keeps the sword leveled at him. A scowl crosses Inuyasha's face. His ears go straight back, and a growl emanates from his throat.))  
  
Inuyasha: You're the one they're hunting. The pirate.  
  
((Miroku tips his head in acknowledgement.))  
  
Miroku: Captain Miroku Suzume, at your service.  
  
((He frowns, and looks at Inuyasha a bit closer.))  
  
Miroku: You look familiar, hanyou. Have I threatened you before?  
  
Inuyasha: I make it a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates.  
  
Miroku: Do you always put unnecessary emphasis on the word 'pirates?'  
  
Inuyasha: Yessss. We hates them, we do. We hates the pirates.   
  
((Peter Jackson and the Tolkein estate sue.))  
  
Miroku: Well then, it would be a shame to put a black mark on your record. So if you'll excuse me.  
  
((He lowers his sword. But before he can move towards the door, a sword leaps into Inuyasha's hands. The proverbial table has been turned. Miroku scowls, irritated.))  
  
Miroku: Do you think this wise? Crossing blades with a pirate?  
  
((He imitates the emphasis Inuyasha places on 'pirate.' A malicious grin crosses Inuyasha's face.))  
  
Inuyasha: You threatened Miss Higurashi.  
  
Miroku: Only a little.  
  
((But Inuyasha isn't listening. He lashes out with his blade. Miroku barely manages to get his up in time to block. For what seems like half an eternity, they stand trading feints, thrusts, and parries with lightning speed. Inuyasha easily matches Miroku.indeed, they seem to be equal.))  
  
Miroku: You know what you're doing, I'll give you that. Excellent form. But how's your footwork?  
  
((Inuyasha cocks his head to one side.))  
  
Miroku: Watch. If I step here.  
  
((He takes a step around an imaginary circle. Inuyasha steps in the other direction, maintaining his relationship with Miroku.)) **A/N: This is not a reference to my MST3K of 'Nirvana.' No, Caitlin don't kill me! GAHHH!**  
  
Miroku: Good. And if I step again, you step again. And so we circle, circle like dogs.  
  
((Inuyasha growls, but continues to circle, until they come to the exact opposite of their original positions-Miroku now has his back to the door. The pirate smiles.))  
  
Miroku: Ta.  
  
((He turns and dashes for the door, but Inuyasha is quicker. He throws his sword with a vicious overhand. The sword buries itself in the latch, holding the door closed. Miroku rattles the latch and tries to remove the sword. He can't. He mouths a curse, but when he turns back to Inuyasha, he is smiling.))  
  
Miroku: That's a nice trick, but there are two basic flaws. One: I can still use the backdoor.  
  
**A/N: GAAH! Too many 'Nirvana' references!**  
  
Miroku: Two: You are, once again, in my way. And you no longer have a sword.  
  
((Inuyasha somersaults backwards, grabbing the poker from the floor as he does so. Miroku's sword clash against it, and they are once again locked in a duel. Miroku forces Inuyasha back, their weapons flashing and ringing. Suddenly, Miroku's fist snakes out in a punch. Inuyasha dodges, but the remaining chain wraps around the poker, disarming him. Immediately, he picks up another sword. Miroku glances around, and realizes that the entire shop is filled with bladed weapons.))  
  
Miroku: Who makes all these?  
  
Inuyasha: I do. And I practice with them five hours a day.  
  
Miroku: You need to find yourself a girl, mate.  
  
((He's struck a nerve. Inuyasha charges forward, blade flashing dangerously. Miroku parries expertly.))  
  
Miroku: Or perhaps you've already found a girl, and are otherwise.incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch, are you?  
  
((He leers suggestively at Inuyasha's nether regions. The inu-hanyou snarls))  
  
Inuyasha: I practice five hours a day so that when I meet a pirate I can kill it.  
  
((He pulls a second sword from a rack and explodes into action, his fighting as swift and deadly with two swords as with one. Miroku parries with sword and chain, but the beads of sweat forming on his brow attest that he is tiring. Again the chain wraps around one of Inuyasha's swords. This time, however, he is prepared for it. He twists the handle of his guard through a link and stabs the sword into the ceiling. Miroku is now suspended by his left arm from the ceiling. He twists, turns and parries as best he can, until he notices the bellows below his feet. He stomps down hard upon it, sending a blinding shower of sparks into Inuyasha's face. As the hanyou recoils, Miroku uses his full weight to pull the sword from the ceiling. He drops to the ground, and grabs two hammers from the table. The first misses Inuyasha by a mile, but the second strikes him on the wrist, forcing him to drop his sword. He picks it up, but when he straightens, he finds that Miroku has his pistol aimed between his eyes.))  
  
Inuyasha: You cheated.  
  
Miroku: Pirate.  
  
((Inuyasha is standing directly in front of the back exit. Miroku hears marching footsteps on the street outside. He glares at Inuyasha.))  
  
Miroku: Move.  
  
Inuyasha: No.  
  
Miroku: Please move.  
  
Inuyasha: No.  
  
Miroku: Pretty please with ramen on top?  
  
Inuyasha: Ooo, ramen! .I mean, No.  
  
((Miroku cocks back the hammer of his pistol.))  
  
Miroku: This shot is not meant for you.  
  
Inuyasha: I cannot stand aside and let you escape.  
  
((The standoff lasts for what seems like eternity. In reality, it is more like a minute. And then.CRACK! Miroku crumples to the ground. Mushin stands behind him, his sake bottle broken open from impact. A beat. And then the doors explode inwards. Kouga and Ayame enter with the troops. Kouga glances at the unconscious pirate and chuckles softly.))  
  
Kouga: Excellent work, Mr. Mushin. You've aided in the capture of a dangerous criminal.  
  
Mushin: Jus' doin' my **hic** civic dooty. **hic**  
  
((Kouga kicks Miroku.))  
  
Kouga: I believe we will always remember this as the day Captain Miroku Suzume almost escaped.  
  
((Miroku awakens exactly long enough to growl out-)  
  
Miroku: Don't be witty. 


	5. The Raid, Part One

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or Pirates of the Caribbean. I, at several points, use references to other works such as Shrek, James Bond, and The Princess Bride. These will be followed by (Name sues.), indicating that I don't own the referenced material. If you don't like the story, I direct you to this advice from my beta reader:  
  
O.k., this is a response to another review the author got. It flamed him, saying that "this idea was unoriginal and stupid." Now, as his friend and beta-reader, that pisses me off. And since he's my friend, if you insult him, you insult me. And I REALLY don't take insults very kindly. So, here's some advice: IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE DAMN STORY, THEN DON'T F-ING READ IT, YAROU!!!! READ SOMETHING ELSE!!! WE ARE NOT FORCING YOU TO READ THIS!!! YOU ARE UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO READ THIS FIC!!! OH, ONE MORE THING: *THIS IS A FANFIC!!!!* THIS IS SOMEONE'S IDEA OF A STORY LINE!!! SO SHUT UP, TAKE YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ARSE-HOLE, AND USE THE DAMNED BRAIN I'M PRETTY SURE YOU'VE GOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! O.K?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Chapter Five  
  
EXT. PORT IMPERIAL-NIGHT  
  
((A thick fog blankets both the town and the harbor. Only Fort Goshinboku rises above the sea of gray. The sky, however, is clear, dotted with stars. A waxing moon bathes the Fort and the fog in an eerie glow.))  
  
ANGLE-FORT GOSHINBOKU  
  
((Just below the stone parapets of the fort, visible briefly in the fog: The topmast of a ship, slicing silently through fog and water like a shark. From the mask flies a flag embroidered with a black Aztec skull. The Shikon no Tama has come to Port Imperial.))  
  
INT. GOVERNOR'S MANSION-KAGOME'S BEDROOM-NIGHT  
  
((Kagome sits in her bed, reading Ranma ½. The maid is heating the bed warmer in the fire.))  
  
Maid: It sounds to me as though you've had a right trying day, Miss Kagome.  
  
Kagome: Well, the commodore's proposal was not entirely unexpected.  
  
**A/N: Read: Anyone who has a quark's worth of knowledge about either Inuyasha or Pirates of the Caribbean saw it coming since the title.**  
  
Maid: Actually, I was talking about being threatened by that dirty pirate.  
  
((In the jailhouse, Miroku sneezes.))  
  
Maid: However, the proposal is exciting news too. It's a smart match. If that's not to bold.  
  
((Kagome begins to say her line, then stops.))  
  
Kagome: Gods, do I really have to say this?  
  
((The author appears in a blast of thunder and lightning. Because every parody has to have self-insertion, right?))  
  
Author: Yes, Kagome, you do.  
  
Kagome: Never!  
  
Author: Say it!  
  
Kagome: Never!  
  
Author: SAY it!  
  
Kagome: NEVER!  
  
((The author transforms into a massive blood-stained, bat winged beast with natural weapons everywhere.))  
  
Author: SAY IT OR YOU'LL END UP WITH KIKYO!  
  
Kagome: GAH! Okay I'll say it, I'll say it!  
  
((Under her breath she adds.))  
  
Kagome: Kami, what a grouch.  
  
Author: I HEARD THAT!  
  
((As soon as the author-beast disappears, Kagome says her line.))  
  
Kagome: It **gulp** is a.fine match. Kouga is what **gag** any woman should **heavy breathing** aspire to marry.  
  
Maid: That Inuyasha fellow is fine man too.  
  
Kagome: Tell me about it!  
  
((She hears the author clear his throat.))  
  
Kagome: .I mean, that is too bold.  
  
((The maid nods apologetically.))  
  
Maid: I'm sorry, miss. It was not my place.  
  
((She places the bed warmer at the foot of the bed and exits. Kagome idly toys with the medallion chain. A chill wind blows through the window and snuffs out the lamp flame. The room is black.))  
  
INT. BLACKSMITH'S FORGE-NIGHT  
  
((Inuyasha stands at the forge, shirtless save for a leather apron. He heats an iron ingot at the furnace and pounds it flat. Suddenly, he freezes in mid-strike. He slowly walks to door and peers outside. Nothing but fog. Subconsciously, he takes a handaxe from the wall.))  
  
FIC LIMBO  
  
Sesshomaru: I, Sesshomaru, refuse to do this part. This entire farce is beneath my, Sesshomaru's dignity.  
  
Author: Two things. First, decide whether you're going to refer to yourself in the first-person or the third person, and stick to it. Don't do both. Second, you'll do it unless you want to be in the audience for my next MST3K.  
  
**A/N: While I have written MST3K's, the franchise itself is not mine.**  
  
Sesshomaru: Bah. I've hosted those things; I can take it.  
  
((The author produces a teenager sized cage. From inside are heard alternately screams of 'hentai!' and cries of 'WHEEEE!!'))  
  
Author: Don't make me do this, Fluffy.  
  
Sesshomaru: You're bluffing. And my name is NOT fluffy.  
  
Author: Am I?  
  
((He drops a bunch of papers into the cage.))  
  
Author: I just gave Caitlin an Inuyasha/Miroku/Jaken lemon with your name on it. Now, do I have to open the latch, or will do your part?  
  
((Sesshomaru might as well be Scooby-Doo.))  
  
Sesshomaru: Please! I'll do anything, just don't let her out! I'm too young to be mauled by an insane, angry authoress!  
  
Author: Excellent.  
  
INT. CELL BLOCK-NIGHT  
  
((A massive dog with a seedy, unkempt white coat stands in the hallway of the dungeon, a ring of cell keys in his mouth. The dog is named SESSHOMARU. In one cell, three PRISONERS-who look suspiciously like the pirate chorus from Pirates of Penzance-are trying to lure the dog over with various doggy delicacies-bones, a chew toy, and doggie treats.))  
  
Prisoner #1: Come here, boy. Doggy want a nice juicy bone?  
  
Sesshomaru: Only if it's your spine.  
  
((Miroku sits in the adjoining cell. He massages his forehead with thumb and forefinger, trying to ward off a headache.))  
  
Miroku: You can keep doing that forever. The dog is never going to come.  
  
Prisoner #2: What never?  
  
Miroku: (baritone) No, never.  
  
Prisoner #3: What, never?  
  
Miroku: No, never. Not in a million years.  
  
((Gilbert and Sullivan try to sue, but cannot because they are DEAD.))  
  
Prisoner #1: Well, excuse us if we haven't resigned ourselves to the gallows just yet.  
  
EXT. FORT GOSHINBOKU-PARAPETS-NIGHT  
  
((A noose hangs from a gallows in the fort courtyard. Commodore Kouga and Governor Higurashi walk along the far wall.))  
  
Governor Higurashi: Has my granddaughter given you an answer yet?  
  
Kouga: No, I'm afraid she hasn't.  
  
Governor Higurashi: Well, she's had a trying day. Ghastly weather tonight. Old Mr. Hiten would have said it was a bad omen.  
  
((As though to prove Old Mr. Hiten right, a cannonball crashes into the wall of the fort. Kouga tackles Governor Higurashi out of the path of a second.))  
  
Kouga: (Stating the obvious) Cannon fire!  
  
INT. CELL BLOCK-NIGHT  
  
((Miroku straightens to attention when he hears the cannons.))  
  
Miroku: I know those guns!  
  
Prisoner #1: Just from the sound?  
  
Prisoner #2: That's quite a feat.  
  
Prisoner #3: I mean, how many different ways can a cannon sound?  
  
Miroku: Uh.that's not important. What is important is that I know what ship is attacking the port. The Shikon no Tama.  
  
((The prisoners gasp collectively.))  
  
Prisoner #1: The Shikon no Tama? I've heard stories about that ship.it's been marauding for seven years, ruthlessly attacking merchant vessels and port towns. Never leaves any survivors.  
  
((Miroku smile is both knowing and enigmatic.))  
  
Miroku: Then where do the stories come from?  
  
EXT. PORT IMPERIAL-HARBOR-NIGHT  
  
((The Shikon no Tama is still invisible in the fog, but flashes of light can be seen with every cannon blast. She's firing on both sides now, hammering both the fort and the town.))  
  
EXT. PORT IMPERIAL-TOWN-NIGHT  
  
((Buildings, docks, and ships explode under the relentless onslaught. The villagers desperately run for cover. If this is not hell on earth, it is about to be. Under a flash of cannon fire, one can see the longboats slipping through the fog. Longboats manned by many ARMED PIRATES. As soon as the longboats touch shore, the pirates are swarming into the town, slaughtering and indiscriminately setting fires.))  
  
INT. BLACKSMITH'S FORGE-NIGHT  
  
((With calm efficiency, Inuyasha collects every bladed weapon he can carry. Slipped into his belt are three dirks and an axe. In his hands, he carries a second axe and Tetsusaiga.))  
  
EXT. PORT IMPERIAL-TOWN-NIGHT  
  
((Inuyasha slides back the door of the forge. A woman runs past, chased by a female pirate, whose long raven hair is pulled back into a ponytail, and wears the robes of a miko. Her name is KIKYO. Inuyasha backhands an axe into her head. Kikyo DIES. He wrenches the axe from her body as he runs past. Since he does not look back, he doesn't notice Kikyo get to her feet. The pirate-miko is joined by a male pirate, a young man with black hair, and bright blue eyes. His name is HOJOU. A third pirate bumps into him, and his left eye, which is wooden, pops out of his head and rolls through Kikyo's legs. As he starts crawling after it, Kikyo thumps him on the head, picks up his eye, and shoves it into his eye-socket backwards.))  
  
EXT. FORT GOSHINBOKU-PARAPETS-NIGHT  
  
((The moon is obscured by the smoke rising from town, fort, and cannons. Cannonballs continue to slam into the fort, but now the Shikon no Tama's volleys are being answered in kind. Kouga looks back at Governor Higurashi, who is curled up in a fetal position and bawling like a baby.))  
  
Kouga: Governor, Barricade yourself in my office.  
  
((The governor whimpers.))  
  
Kouga: A moving target is much harder to hit then a stationary one, governor.  
  
((Governor Higurashi leaps for his feet and runs for Kouga's office, but his way is blocked by a faceless pirate named MUSOU. Behind the faceless one, pirates are beginning to swarm over the walls of the fort. Musou reaches forward to tear off the governor's face, but Kouga's sword slices cleanly through his hand.))  
  
Kouga: They've flanked us! Men! Swords and pistols!  
  
INT. GOVERNOR'S MANSION-KAGOME'S BEDROOM-NIGHT  
  
((Kagome has finally managed to relight the lamp. She stares out the window in horror. Even from this far away, she can see the ships burning in the harbor, hear the cannon fire and the cries of pain. Out of the corner of her eye, she notices shadowy figures moving towards the mansion. Her eyes widen, and she rushes out of the room.))  
  
INT. GOVERNOR'S MANSION-FOYER-NIGHT  
  
((As Kagome arrives on the second floor landing, there is a thundering knock on the door. The butler, who apparently has the IQ of a TURNIP walks forward to open the door.))  
  
Kagome: DON'T!  
  
((But her warning comes too late. The large double doors swing open, and Kikyo, flanked by a small battalion of pirates grins maliciously at the butler.))  
  
Kikyo: Hello.  
  
((Her gun booms, and the butler crumples to the floor. Beside her, Hojou points excitedly at the Kagome. He speaks with a stupid stutter.))  
  
Hojou: U-up there!  
  
((Kikyo growls.))  
  
Kikyo: GET HER!  
  
((The pirates surge into the mansion. Kagome suppresses a scream and run into the nearest room.))  
  
INT. GOVERNOR'S MANSION-SITTING ROOM-NIGHT  
  
((Kagome dashes into the room and slams the door behind her. Someone grabs her from behind. She turns, to find it is the maid.))  
  
Maid: Miss Kagome, you've got to get out of here! It's you they're after!  
  
Kagome: I know that. But why?  
  
Maid: You're the governor's granddaughter!  
  
((The door shakes as someone on the other side slams against it. Kagome nods to the maid.))  
  
Kagome: They haven't seen you yet. Hide. As soon as the coast is clear, run for the fort.  
  
Maid: That's not much safer, Miss Kagome.  
  
Kagome: Yes, but we're not supposed to know that.  
  
((She shoves the maid into a dark corner. Another slam at the door. It's starting to give. Kagome ducks out a side door as the pirates burst in. Focused completely on capturing Kagome, they notice the open door, but not the maid cowering in the corner.))  
  
INT. GOVERNOR'S MANSION-KAGOME'S BEDROOM-NIGHT  
  
((Kikyo leads the charge after Kagome, and gets a bed warmer in the face for her efforts. As she staggers back, Hojou runs in. He catches the bed warmer by the handle. He grins triumphantly.until Kagome releases the catch, causing the hot coals to spill onto his head. For good measure, some of these coals land on Kikyo and burn holes in her arm. Kagome throws the bed warmer at the rest of the pirates and makes a break for it.))  
  
INT. GOVERNOR'S MANSION-FOYER-NIGHT  
  
((Kagome makes a break for the door. But as the pirates chase after her, Hojou TRIPS over the railing landing in front of the door. Our heroine makes a quick change of course. She ducks into the dining room and locks the doors behind her.))  
  
INT. GOVERNOR'S MANSION-DINING ROOM-NIGHT  
  
((Even as she latches the door, the pirates slam against the other side. It won't hold long. Kagome searches desperately for a weapon of some kind. Her gaze is drawn to right wall, where two crossed swords hang above the fireplace. She pulls a chair over next to the fireplace and tries to pull off one of the swords. No use; they are attached securely to the wall. Damn! The door begins to splinter under the pirates assault. Kagome grabs a knife from the table-a bread knife. Double damn! She looks back at the door, and sees an axe blade cut into the wood. The pirates will be through any second now. She looks left and right; there's no other way out of the room. She's trapped with no weapons, no escape, and pirates closing in on her.))  
  
INT. GOVERNOR'S MANSION-FOYER-NIGHT  
  
((The doors shatter open. The pirates pour into the dining room.))  
  
INT. GOVERNOR'S MANSION-DINING ROOM-NIGHT  
  
((Kagome is nowhere in sight. Kikyo growls in frustration as Hojou checks to make sure she isn't hiding under the silverware.))  
  
Kikyo: We know you're here, bitch. There's no use in hiding. Come out, and I promise we won't hurt you.  
  
((Hojou starts.))  
  
Hojou: You're not going soft on me, are you Kikyo?  
  
Kikyo: Shut up you imbecile! I'm lying through my teeth here!  
  
Hojou: Oh. Well that's alright then. Carry on lying.  
  
((Kikyo whacks him, then calls out to Kagome again.))  
  
Kikyo: We will find you, bitch. You've got something of ours, and it calls to us.  
  
INT. DUMBWAITER-NIGHT  
  
((Kagome is curled up in the dumbwaiter box. She peers out through a tiny crack. Kikyo's words float in from off screen.))  
  
Kikyo: The gold calls to us!  
  
((The medallion slips out of Kagome's nightgown. She gasps and tries to slip it back in. But at that moment, the dumbwaiter doors slide open, and Kikyo leers at her.))  
  
Kikyo: Hello, bitch.  
  
((Hojou tries to draw his sword, but accidentally SLITS HIS WRISTS. Kikyo groans and aims her gun at Kagome. Just as she clicks back the hammer, Kagome hits on a desperate plan of action.))  
  
Kagome: Parley!  
  
Kikyo: Say what?  
  
Kagome: I invoke the right of parley! According to the Code of the Brethren, laid down by the Pirate Kings Goshinkishi and Gatenmaru, you must escort me to your captain.  
  
((Kikyo is clearly pissed.))  
  
Kikyo: I know the code.  
  
Kagome: If an adversary demands parley you can do them no harm until the parley is complete.  
  
Hojou: Sounds like she knows it pretty well herself, eh, Kikyo?  
  
((Kikyo snarls, but lowers her gun. She snaps.))  
  
Kikyo: Come on then, bitch. We must honor the code.  
  
((She and Hojou grab Kagome roughly by her arm, and start dragging her off.)) 


End file.
